we are fighting dreamers -- aim for the top!

Post 9 :: Daily Rambling :: More Thoughts on "This I Believe"


I


You know, while I may gripe about how my life sucks, when I put things in perspective, the situation changes. While I was watching television with my dad the other night, I saw an interview with Michael J. Fox on one of the channels. (An actor, forced into retirement by Parkinson's disease.) He mentioned a story I thought was interesting:

God gathered the people who complained their problems were worse than everyone else's in a circle and had them place their nastiest problems in the middle. He then offered them the chance to exchange their problem for another's. They each took back their own problem.

... And it's how you think about it, right? So think positive, self!

I'm going to start practicing flute again. I'm going to start playing piano again. I'm going to draw, prepare for Kawaii Kon, and concentrate on getting that A- or higher on my AP Chem test. I'm going to think positive, and I'm going to think about the things that are important, not the things that only end up making me confused and/or upset.


II


Sometimes, it seems like life is one giant pain in the rear. It seems like only after I've fallen in a puddle will I slam my pinky finger in the door, lose a valuable ring, and fail a chemistry test. It seems like all life does is kick me when I'm already down; I think, "Gods, this sucks" or "Why does my life have to be so... so bad?" When it feels like things just can't get worse, they do.

Spiraling down into an endless abyss of worry and stress, I snap at what or whoever is stupid enough to cross my path. I think things like, "They can't understand," "You can't help me" or "Leave me alone" when they try to give me advice. When normal methods of cheering myself up don't work, I end up giving up; I think, "It'll run its course." But when it doesn't, I get frustrated. Everything irks me, goes wrong -- nothing makes me happy anymore.

When things like this happen, there's only one thing that brings me back to myself: Friendship.

I'm not one for sappy sentiments; I don't think love can save everything. I don't think things repair themselves with a single apology. There are no magic words that make the pain vanish; all the fancy, lace-trimmed words in the world won't make a problem go away. And even though I think this, I believe the simple presence of someone else can make the load seem lighter -- make the knot less complicated, if you will.

It won't solve everything, and it certainly won't save anyone, but it gives me the first step I need to drag myself out of the whirlpool. Someone who will simply listen is an incredible blessing -- and the thing is: It's not about that friend's ability to give advice or to sympathize. It's the idea that someone exists who will listen and be there, like one of those inner tubes that I used to love so much as a child. It's the knowledge that I'm not alone, that someone is there to support me. It's the knowledge that someone wants to see me happy.

Every time I think about my friends, I realize again how lucky I really am. I am grateful for the friend who made me notecards, each one giving me a reason to believe in myself. It wasn't what was written on those cards that made me smile. It was the thought. The simple thought of someone being there for me, trying to cheer me up through the bad times.

I am grateful for the friend I could call at 10 o'clock at night for an hour and a half -- who ended up just... listening most of the, if not the entire, time. And sometimes, nothing was said. I was grateful for her being there, lending an ear -- even if it was only over the phone. She let me get everything off my chest. Everything felt lighter after that conversation. I'm not saying it was magically better. It was just... looking at the situation through new eyes.

I believe in friendship, and that it is not always necessary to know exactly what to do or what to say -- that maybe it's not necessary to say anything at all. Sometimes all that matters is being there and believing. This I believe.